Where do i start? There is no question that I love my wife. For two years i have been married to her. I was the happiest man in the world when the both of us decided to elope back in 2006.
Unfortunatlly i never expected such a dark cloud of suffering during my 2 years of marriage. My wife and I were married back in March of 2006. One month later i found out a horrifying issue that she has. She was addicted to Crack Cocaine and Pain Pills.
I never saw it coming. It was just a mack truck that hit me straight on and it has yet to stop. Before we were married my wife was laid off from her job. She did not take it well at all. She was always upset, always sleeping and i noticed that she was not taking care of her place much anymore. I just thought to myself that this was probably typical when depressed about losing a job.
A couple weeks after we go married i notice odd things missing. I couldnt find my poker set, i couldnt find my watch, i couldnt find my camera..etc.. Since we just moved to a new house i just thought it was just packed up somewhere. After all was unpacked i still didnt find them. Everyweek something would dissapear.
During the same time i would notice that 20 here, 20 there was taken from the ATM a number of times each week…I couldnt figure it out. Sometime in April i needed to leave town for business for 5 days. Everything had been going great until my third day away. I was at a CVS buying a snack and my card was declined. Thinking that maybe i just forgot to move my money from one account to another i made no big deal of it. A couple hours later i was shocked to notice that 3 transactions had been made for 150, 300 and 220 from 9pm to 3am. I called the wife to see why so much was taken out a i couldnt get a hold of her to 24 hours.
After i came home i kept drilling her on why so much $ was taken out and she just said that she owed some people money and that its all taken care of. Naturally that answer was not good enough for me, but i just delt with it.
A week later once again 350 bucks was taken out. I tried to call her but no answer. I did not hear back for 48 hours. I begged and proded and pleaded to her. She finally broke down and told me the truth she was addicted to crack and pain pills and periodically she would have her binges. She promised me it wouldnt happen again and she was getting help.
A week later 500 gone. The continous circle of money concerns, divorce threats, appologies and dissapointments has gone full circle over an infinate number of times. The worst month was in September of 2007 when 2600 had been taken from savings in one month.
There have been a number of things ive tried from controling the money, letting our family know of the issues, selling out second car to make up for bills and to also limit her ability to drive. She just finds ways to still get her fix. From forging my name on my checks to phycolohgically messing with my mind and making me feel horrible for making her feel like i was controling her life.
In my opinion im dont believe that i crossed the line. I gave her money when she asked. All i asked was for reciepts. I would take her to when she wanted to go at ANYTIME of the day or night. i was her personal choffier. But unfortunatllly that wasnt enought in her mind. So what do i do?? Loan her the car. Unfortunatlly there were time where i got the impact of her binges. Many times she would leave me stranded for hours after work and i would just wait. Knowing deep inside the reason she was late was because she wasnt in a state to drive. On average i would be stranded for 5 or 6 hours until she came to get me or if i convinced a friend to drop me off. The worst was when i went to work an event 2 hours away from home Both her an i were working different promotional events. She got out a couple hours before i did. Because of that i gave her the car to get us something to eat…..She never came back. I didnt knopw what to do? My wife had left me to go 2 hours south to get her fix. She kept telling me that she was leaving in 10 minutes…2 hours went to 4 hours, 4 hours when to 6 hours…etc..It was midnight and she still hadnt shown up. I knew i had to walk to a hotel. I arrived at the hotel. Unfortunatlly to my dissapointment the card was declined. I looked in my pocket and only had 50 bucks. The room was 90. I couldnt do anything. I checked my balence and noticed “$0″. I called my wife and told her that i had 0 money and that i could not get a room. She said she would be leaving to get me….I was in the streets for 48 hours until i ran into a lady that was desperate for gas money and needed to go accross the state. After i convinced her i was safe, i gave her my last 40 bucks i had with me and she dropped me off to my car.
I love my wife, but going through this wirlwind of stress at the moment. Its really effecting my health and my job. At the same time i dont vent to anyone since i am JUST SO EMBARRASED about the wh