Nicole Hockin shares the findings of the Hotel Price Index Study from Hotels.com with KCEN-TV, WACO, Texas, live via satellite. Live from the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, NV, she shares tips for getting great hotel deals and top destinations for big savings.
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*Comment Please for points*
Avery enters the AAC lunchroom and joins the gang at their usual table.)
Dirk: Speaking of having it all … Where were you?
Avery: It’s not working, Dirk. It’s just not working.
Dirk: What is it that isn’t working?
Avery: Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but … I was perceptive. I always knew when David Robinson was uncomfortable at a party. It’s become very clear to me that every decision I’ve ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be! Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat … It’s all been wrong!
(A waitress approaches Avery.)
Waitress: Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee.
Avery: Yeah. … No, no, no, wait a minute. … I always have tuna on toast. Nothing’s ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast! Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted … and a cup of tea!
Kidd: Well, there’s no telling what can happen from this.
(Stack, sitting across the lunch room, looks longingly at Avery.)
Kidd: Ah, Avery, you know, that downside-of-his-career backup player just looked at you.
Avery: So what? What am I supposed to do?
Kidd: Go talk to him!
Avery: Kidd, short men, who didn’t get drafted, and who got no jumper, who live in a hotel, don’t approach superstars like Jerry Stackhouse!
Dirk : Well here’s your chance to try the opposite. Instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by superstars, chicken salad and going right up to them!
Avery: Yeah, I should do the opposite. I should.
Jerry: If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right!
Avery: Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit on the NBA bench and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something!
(Avery saunters over to Stack.)
Avery: Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you were looking in my direction.
Stack: Oh, yes I was, you just ordered the same exact lunch as me.
(Avery takes a deep breath.)
Avery: My name is Avery. I wasn’t drafted and I live in a hotel.
Stack: I’m Stack. Hi!
(Cut to Dirk’s mansion. Cubes comes dancing through the doorway.)
Cubes: Hey, UberMan, it’s all happening!
Dirk: What’s happening?
Cubes: The coffee table book. It’s a go! You know what this means? I’m starting the book tour. First stop: Regis and Kelly, and then NBC5 with Newy Scruggs, and then ESPN 103.3 Radio with Wally Lynn, then some pub on DallasBasketball.com. …
Dirk: I’ll loan you my puffy shirt.
(Cut to the practice court. Dirk, Kidd and Avery are working out before the week’s big game.)
Avery: I tell you this, something is happening in my life. I did this opposite thing last night. Up was down, black was white, good was –
Dirk: Bad.
Avery: Day was –
Kidd: Night.
Avery: Yes!
Dirk: I told Del Harris to go –
Avery: Up in a suite!
Kidd: I told Mark Cuban to come –
Avery: Down on the floor!
Dirk: So you just did the opposite of everything?
Avery: Yes. This has been the dream of my life ever since I was a child, and it’s all happening because I’m completely ignoring every urge towards common sense and good judgment I’ve ever had. This is no longer just some crazy notion. Guys, this is my religion! Stay stronger longer!
(Flash back four years. Avery is in Cubes’ AAC luxury bunker.)
Cubes: I gotta tell you, you are the complete opposite of every applicant we’ve seen. It’s been nice to meet you.
Avery: Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past years you have caused myself, and the city of Dallas, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Mavericks and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!
Cubes: Hire this man!
(Fast-forward to the start of the 2007-08 season. Avery enters the AAC lunchroom, dressed in his Mavericks sweatsuit, and joins Cubes.)
Avery: Greetings! Greetings! Greetings and salutations! What a beautiful day for a basketball game. Let’s play two! … I’m the head coach of the Dallas Mavericks! I’m going on the road trips with them! I’ll be on the plane… I’m taking over Nellie’s office in American Airlines Center! This is a dream! I’m busting, Cubes, I’m busting!
Cubes: Auerbach, Wooden, Dean Smith. … Avery Johnson?
(Avery sits down and speaks to the waitress.)
Avery: Oh, I’ll have the chicken salad on rye, my usual, you know what I get, darlin’.
(Avery turns back to Cubes.)
Avery: So, let’s see, I had a little conversation today with Mr. Dirk Nowitzki — he’s the MVP. We talked about some new roles around here. Devin as a distributor. Jet as a crunch-time dribbler. Stack as a greenlight shooter. Diop and Damp, we need them to score. And Dirk to be a distributor. We love our team! But you know, Coach is not crazy about the shooting. Dirky Basketball. He’s a helluva guy. … I’m back in business, baby! I am the Lil’ General!
Cubes: Yada, yada.
(Cut to the Thursday pregame bus ride in San Antonio. Avery is behind the wheel, Stack is cozily riding shotgun.)
Stack: Are you sticking with that little moustache?
Avery: Why shave every day? It just grows right back.
Stack: I guess …
Avery: I’m afraid I’m just not interested in how I present myself. If those kind of superficial matters are important to you, this probably isn’t gonna work.
(A car cuts in in front of the team bus, and Avery has to make a sudden maneuver.)
Stack: Hey watch it! He just cut you off! Did you see that?!
Avery (with incredible calm, no veins popping from his forehead): Take it easy. Take it easy. It’s not the end of the world. Let’s focus on the positives.
(Cut to the AT&T Center. There are 34.5 seconds remaining in a tight game. Mavs ball. Two young DFW media members are sitting behind the Mavs bench, directly behind Avery and Stack.)
Media person No.1 (To Stack): Hey baby, how about a little tongue action, huh?
Media person No.2: Yeah, stick your tongue down his throat!
(They kick the backs of Avery and Stack’s seats.)
Stack: What are we gonna do? Shall we just move?
Avery (Getting up and turning toward the two young DFW media members): That won’t be necessary.
Avery: Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We’re examining our data so Stack can go in for Kidd in the final 34.5 seconds! And if I have to tell you again, we’re gonna take it outside and I’m gonna show you what it’s like! You understand me? This is a work in progress! Now, shut your Poisonous Journalism mouths or I’ll shut’em for ya, and if you think I’m kidding, just try me. Try me! Because I would love it!
(Even Spurs fans applaud as Avery sits down again.)
Stack: Who are you, Avery Johnson?
Avery: I’m the opposite of every coach you’ve ever met.
Ammo Sell Out
All of the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of yesterday.
A reliable source said that one of the purchasers commented that while Russia may have invaded Georgia , they sure as heck ain’t doin’ it to Alabama .
Redneck Children
“You’ve just had your twelfth baby miss.
What are you going to name this one?”
“Phil.
”
“But you named the last eleven Phil.
”
“Yeah its great. I say Phil go clean the room, they all go clean their room. I say Phil come for dinner, they all come for dinner.
”
“But what if you only want one of them?”
“Oh! Then I call them by their last name.
”
Question
If a man says something in the woods and a woman does not hear him, is he still wrong?
The Dog
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The dog thinks, “Boyo, I’m in deep doo doo now.” (He was an Irish setter)…. Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, “Man, that was one delicious leopard.
I wonder if there are any more around here?”
Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. “Whew”, says the leopard. “That was close. That dog nearly had me.
”
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.
”
Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn’t seen them yet.
And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says,
“Where’s that monkey. I just can never trust him.
I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he’s still not back!!”
Forgetful Wife
After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around — in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man.
He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her — the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her
“While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.
”
The Old Couple
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.
‘
The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.
‘
The fairy waved her magic wand and poof! 2 tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.
‘
The wife, and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof! The husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful jerks should remember fairies are female!
The E-Mail
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules.
So, the husband left Mi
ABC News’ Matthew Jaffe Reports: Sen. Joe Biden, D-Del., on Sunday guaranteed that if elected, Sen. Barack Obama., D-Ill., will be tested by an international crisis within his first six months in power and he will need supporters to stand by him as he makes tough, and possibly unpopular, decisions.
“Mark my words,” the Democratic vice presidential nominee warned at the second of his two Seattle fundraisers Sunday. “It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We’re about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don’t remember anything else I said. Watch, we’re gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.”
“I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate,” Biden said to Emerald City supporters, mentioning the Middle East and Russia as possibilities. “And he’s gonna need help. And the kind of help he’s gonna need is, he’s gonna need you – not financially to help him – we’re gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the community, to stand with him. Because it’s not gonna be apparent initially, it’s not gonna be apparent that we’re right.”
Not only will the next administration have to deal with foreign affairs issues, Biden warned, but also with the current economic crisis.
“Gird your loins,” Biden told the crowd. “We’re gonna win with your help, God willing, we’re gonna win, but this is not gonna be an easy ride. This president, the next president, is gonna be left with the most significant task. It’s like cleaning the Augean stables, man. This is more than just, this is more than – think about it, literally, think about it – this is more than just a capital crisis, this is more than just markets. This is a systemic problem we have with this economy.”
The Delaware lawmaker managed to rake in an estimated $1 million total from his two money hauls at the downtown Sheraton, the same hotel where four years ago Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., clinched the Democratic nomination. Despite warning about the difficulties the next administration will face, Biden said the Democratic ticket is equipped to meet the challenges head on.
“I’ve forgotten more about foreign policy than most of my colleagues know, so I’m not being falsely humble with you. I think I can be value added, but this guy has it,” the Senate Foreign Relations chairman said of Obama. “This guy has it. But he’s gonna need your help. Because I promise you, you all are gonna be sitting here a year from now going, ‘Oh my God, why are they there in the polls? Why is the polling so down? Why is this thing so tough?’ We’re gonna have to make some incredibly tough decisions in the first two years. So I’m asking you now, I’m asking you now, be prepared to stick with us. Remember the faith you had at this point because you’re going to have to reinforce us.”
“There are gonna be a lot of you who want to go, ‘Whoa, wait a minute, yo, whoa, whoa, I don’t know about that decision’,” Biden continued. “Because if you think the decision is sound when they’re made, which I believe you will when they’re made, they’re not likely to be as popular as they are sound. Because if they’re popular, they’re probably not sound.”
Biden emphasized that the mountainous Afghanistan-Pakistan border is of particular concern, with Osama bin Laden “alive and well” and Pakistan “bristling with nuclear weapons.”
“You literally can see what these kids are up against, our kids in that region,” Biden said in recalling when his helicopter was forced down due to a snowstorm there. “The place is crawling with al Qaeda. And it’s real.”
“We do not have the military capacity, nor have we ever, quite frankly, in the last 20 years, to dictate outcomes,” he cautioned. “It’s so much more important than that. It’s so much more complicated than that. And Barack gets it.”
After speaking for just over a quarter of an hour, Biden noticed the media presence in the back of the small ballroom.
“I probably shouldn’t have said all this because it dawned on me that the press is here,” he joked.
“All kidding aside, these guys have left us in a God-awful place,” he then said of the Bush regime, promptly wrapping up his remarks. “We have the ability to straighten it out. It’s gonna take a little bit of time, so I ask you to stay with us. Stay with us.”
I guess the question may also be is Senator Obama ready for what might lay ahead????
There was an article in the wall street journal i think in the travel section last week (5/22/07-5/25/07) about websites that advertise and sell the excess hotel rooms at the last minute from expensive chains that are under occupancy or during off peak times?
There were maybe 2-3 websites I wanted to keep and I mistakenly threw out the article.
