Hotels Last Minute Deals » Last Minute Deals

Last Minute Hotel Deals 101

admin — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 06:37:19 +0000

Just a brief whilst ago I was able to wrangle a last minute hotel discount.. Got into town rather late. Necessary a place for the evening. Called a few hotels off my GPS and asked for the 1 night cost. Then… I asked if there was a lower price discount for coming in late. three of the four hotels had pretty a lot no discounts. But the one that had a fantastic discount… was also…the greatest hotel! and.. the best cost! in a excellent spot right next to the beach! I snapped it up quick.

If you’ve ever wondered how to pull off a last minute deal, it’s completely possible that bad preparation can mean great deals and rooms in hotels. Whenever you finally go by means of the next couple of paragraphs, you may turn out to be a believer in last second hotel bargains, and learn how to save some money. Nonetheless first, maintain these three alternatives in mind. Keep in mind that you may bid for rooms, you may wish to take a have a look at hotel alternatives, and finally give the hotel you might be contemplating… A call directly and ask them directly about any type of late deal discounts. From these suggestions, you’ll discover to locate ever much better deals with regards to accommodations, so lets get going!

HAVE YOU TRIED BIDDING FOR A ROOM?
Lets focus on bidding for a accommodation. So?? What’s that? Well, it’s just what the thought sounds like… BIDDING for the accommodation. An individual might bid against a number of vacationers for the accommodation. Bidding on a room is essential simply due to the fact there might be substantial savings with this strategy. The lodges would like a bit some thing instead of completely nothing, whenever their rooms are vacant. Give this internet website a try – BiddingForTravel.com. A couple of other websites to make use of are BetterBidding and SkyAuction. Bidding turns out to be various from the shrink wrapped alternative of phoning an agent, but its well worth checking with regard to price savings on the budget.

HOTEL ALTERNATIVES ARE COOL
Your second method to get began is with conventional hotel possibilities. These are crucial basically due to the fact conventional hotel alternate choices including hostels aren’t associated with hotel costs as well as the hotel market. You may locate some wonderful costs with extras mixed in. Lets think about bed and breakfasts as an example. Several times they’ve got meals included,and you get gurus inside the form of the innkeeper who can make suggestions for the very best spots to sightsee locally. Another option can be hostels or private homes of neighborhood people. I experimented with this in Austria as soon as, and yes it was by far probably the most pleasant encounter ever. It actually had been extremely nice. Ok, we’ve dealt with bidding for a room and alternatives. What’s following that?

NEGOTIATE WITH THE HOTEL MANAGER!
Call the hotel direct and negotiate the rates all on your personal! Negotiating directly at the last minute will probably be relevant just since you might have no notion whatever they have regarding deals. The manager could have to get a couple of rooms filled badly and make an arrangement that you just aren’t alert to. That’s what I did and it worked. Just call the hotel. Not the hotel chain or even their 800 number. Call the hotel directly. And ask with regards to the manager. Also, monitor the very greatest rated seasonal and weekday rates. Numerous times the mid week is deal time. Travelers are not traveling on Tuesdays through Thursdays, as a result the rates are normally less pricey. Well there it can be. There are 3 approaches to start acquiring late hotel room bargains. Keep in mind that your possibilities are to bid on a room, take a look at alternatives to hotels like bed and breakfasts or maybe hostels and lastly, talk about directly with the hotel you need to quit at. A couple of calls will get you where you’ll want to go. Give it a try this week. Search for 3 accommodations you would like to quit at, get their number, phone them and see if you are able to talk about a fantastic deal. Get it completed basically for the practice. You may find a decent value!

22 Hour Drive… Need Advice, Tips, Etc?

admin — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 04:57:13 +0000

We’ve made the drive several times w/ one baby/ child but never with two. [Ahhh!] I sent my father-in-law a text video of the boys this past weekend and within 5 minutes he called begging us to come up to visit and told us a check for fuel was in the mail. We have a 3 1/2 year old and a 6 month old. Last time we left around 8pm and our 3 year old slept all night and we made some good time. Would you do the same thing or just leave in the morning and get a hotel room? Which would be better and why? (If we left at night we could alternate sleeping so that’s not a big deal.) Time and money isn’t a huge issue, I just want to do what is best for the boys sake so that they aren’t too uncomfortable. Thanks!

Please I Need Help On This One, Before Its Too Late.?

admin — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 04:44:16 +0000

It all started when two girls wanted to experience being with a girl. I met this girl last year from a dating site and she also wanted to experience it. She told me she has boyfriend and just wanted to see how it is. When we met she was so nervous she couldn’t look me in the eye. After a couple of weeks, we experience our first kiss. In which, it was great. It felt weird at first but at the same time it was a wonderful experience and I liked it. One month passes by and we rent a hotel and experience our first time being with a girl. We both were nervous and didn’t know what to do. Somehow we did it. Let me tell you it was weird but great at the same time. We both got what we wanted. But after experiencing our first sex encounter. We wanted more so we started to see more of each other. Within time we started to feel some kind of feeling for each other, even though she has a bf. I told her how I actually feel about her and I express my feeling to her, and then she did too. I told her we couldn’t see each other because I didn’t want my feeling to get deeper, due to the fact that she has a bf.
She said no that she still wanted to see me and that her relationship with her bf was already messed up. They already been having problem. So I stay and continue to see her more and more. So I ended up falling in love with this girl, and supposely she did too. When had a relationship going as a couple even though she was living with her bf. As time passes by she was getting jealous when I spend time when a guy that I used to dated. I told her not to worry we are only friends and nothing more then that. But she knew the guy like me a lot. So I told her, you have a bf and I’m sure you go out with him. She said that it different because when she goes out with him they don’t kiss or hugs. I told her it doesn’t matter you did go out with him.
As time continue to pass by, by February of this year our relationship was getting worse.We started to agrue a lot, and we hardly saw much of each other. I broke up with her a couple of times, but we always got back together. I forgive her and she forgav me for my mistakes. There was time when she spend most of the time with friends and not me. I also expressed my feeling to her but she always took it as if I was complaining to her. As time passing by we argue more and more and less time. She was very outspoken and rude when we argued most of the time, and that got to me a lot. She disrespected me most of the time and she was very inpatient and wanted her ways. I’m very simple and wasn’t as delicated as she was. She lived like 40 minutes away and I drove most of the time, due to she would complain that its too far. If I wanted to do something with her and she didn’t like where we were going. She were complain and end up not going and we ended up doing what she wanted. I said something to her. She complain. I’m the type of person that doesn’t like to argue a lot. So instead of listening to her argue if we didn’t agree on something. I would let her get her way. She always though of me negative, for example just recently she applied for a job and her interview went well and she got the job. But the company she applied too had to send the paper to coorparate, in which they did. She got a call yesterday saying that she didn’t get the job after all due to her D.U.I. She was disappointed and she thought I wanted her not to get the job. I told her she was wrong, I was happy that she actually got the job. she makes it seem that I’m a bad person when all I did was supporting her and being there for her.
Well just two days ago I broke up with her for the last time and I told her that its final. I couldn’t take it anymore. Despite all that, I’m in love with her and I miss her like crazy. I don’t know what to do now, I know it a very difficult situation to deal with. I don’t know if I should call her or just wait and give her sometime. I want her back but I said it final.
Please any advice I would appreciated.

When Does When Need To Be For A Divorce?

admin — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:37:03 +0000

Where do i start? There is no question that I love my wife. For two years i have been married to her. I was the happiest man in the world when the both of us decided to elope back in 2006.
Unfortunatlly i never expected such a dark cloud of suffering during my 2 years of marriage. My wife and I were married back in March of 2006. One month later i found out a horrifying issue that she has. She was addicted to Crack Cocaine and Pain Pills.
I never saw it coming. It was just a mack truck that hit me straight on and it has yet to stop. Before we were married my wife was laid off from her job. She did not take it well at all. She was always upset, always sleeping and i noticed that she was not taking care of her place much anymore. I just thought to myself that this was probably typical when depressed about losing a job.
A couple weeks after we go married i notice odd things missing. I couldnt find my poker set, i couldnt find my watch, i couldnt find my camera..etc.. Since we just moved to a new house i just thought it was just packed up somewhere. After all was unpacked i still didnt find them. Everyweek something would dissapear.
During the same time i would notice that 20 here, 20 there was taken from the ATM a number of times each week…I couldnt figure it out. Sometime in April i needed to leave town for business for 5 days. Everything had been going great until my third day away. I was at a CVS buying a snack and my card was declined. Thinking that maybe i just forgot to move my money from one account to another i made no big deal of it. A couple hours later i was shocked to notice that 3 transactions had been made for 150, 300 and 220 from 9pm to 3am. I called the wife to see why so much was taken out a i couldnt get a hold of her to 24 hours.
After i came home i kept drilling her on why so much $ was taken out and she just said that she owed some people money and that its all taken care of. Naturally that answer was not good enough for me, but i just delt with it.
A week later once again 350 bucks was taken out. I tried to call her but no answer. I did not hear back for 48 hours. I begged and proded and pleaded to her. She finally broke down and told me the truth she was addicted to crack and pain pills and periodically she would have her binges. She promised me it wouldnt happen again and she was getting help.
A week later 500 gone. The continous circle of money concerns, divorce threats, appologies and dissapointments has gone full circle over an infinate number of times. The worst month was in September of 2007 when 2600 had been taken from savings in one month.
There have been a number of things ive tried from controling the money, letting our family know of the issues, selling out second car to make up for bills and to also limit her ability to drive. She just finds ways to still get her fix. From forging my name on my checks to phycolohgically messing with my mind and making me feel horrible for making her feel like i was controling her life.
In my opinion im dont believe that i crossed the line. I gave her money when she asked. All i asked was for reciepts. I would take her to when she wanted to go at ANYTIME of the day or night. i was her personal choffier. But unfortunatllly that wasnt enought in her mind. So what do i do?? Loan her the car. Unfortunatlly there were time where i got the impact of her binges. Many times she would leave me stranded for hours after work and i would just wait. Knowing deep inside the reason she was late was because she wasnt in a state to drive. On average i would be stranded for 5 or 6 hours until she came to get me or if i convinced a friend to drop me off. The worst was when i went to work an event 2 hours away from home Both her an i were working different promotional events. She got out a couple hours before i did. Because of that i gave her the car to get us something to eat…..She never came back. I didnt knopw what to do? My wife had left me to go 2 hours south to get her fix. She kept telling me that she was leaving in 10 minutes…2 hours went to 4 hours, 4 hours when to 6 hours…etc..It was midnight and she still hadnt shown up. I knew i had to walk to a hotel. I arrived at the hotel. Unfortunatlly to my dissapointment the card was declined. I looked in my pocket and only had 50 bucks. The room was 90. I couldnt do anything. I checked my balence and noticed “$0″. I called my wife and told her that i had 0 money and that i could not get a room. She said she would be leaving to get me….I was in the streets for 48 hours until i ran into a lady that was desperate for gas money and needed to go accross the state. After i convinced her i was safe, i gave her my last 40 bucks i had with me and she dropped me off to my car.
I love my wife, but going through this wirlwind of stress at the moment. Its really effecting my health and my job. At the same time i dont vent to anyone since i am JUST SO EMBARRASED about the wh

Does Anyone Know Anyone Who Went To Jail From Craigslist?

admin — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:59:54 +0000

So I posted another question and had on person respond saying his brother went to jail for the same things….. Below you will find the thread. I just want more information and stories on this. I am really upset as I have a right to free speech.
Craigslist “Going to Jail” email?
So I received an email last night after posting something on Craigslist. I was simply asking for chill people that wanted to hang out as I travel for a living and am trying to find some peeps. I have been here a year and just sit in my hotel. Although I do go to bars, I am looking for people that like bluegrass, jam bands and such; I also wanted to find some people that are what we call “420 friendly” (a term used all the time on craigslist post). I posted it and when I came back to my PC and checked my email (it is not one I have up all the time) I saw a message that said this “Let me be clear. If see your post again, you will be going to jail. It better be gone in the next 10 minutes. Your choice. ”
Funny thing was this was about an hour after I posted it. I replied to ask what was wrong with it and explained that I would remove it at that time. I went to remove it and it had already been flagged. I clicked on my check mail and I have this….
“As a matter of fact, I see it is still up, so since you didn’t believe me, you are now being reported to the police. Enjoy the investigation. Learn the lesson.”
I know that IP addresses can be used to determine who it is that is writing this things, but I don’t know what I did wrong, or how I can GO TO JAIL over writing something on a wall that was no directed at anyone.
I had nothing about $$$ on the site at all.
I wrote to craigslist legal department about it since I am a little concerned.
I find it funny that prostitutes can sell “company” for the evening, but I cannot even put a post about wanting to hang out with some chill people. You cannot arrest a woman for posting that she is going to have sex with someone for money, which is why they cannot just arrest corner girls, only those that offer themselves for money (a transaction has to take place).
Should I be concerned at all? Who should I contact about this?
Dave – What do you mean? What happened and what were the details…… was he trying to sell? Did he meet up with someone? How did they locate him?
This is wrong. I agree with everyone else, don’t they have better things to do.
What do I tell the authorities? Or should I just wait and see what happens?
The email was not from CL as all, but rather a gmail account.
WTF, never get on CL when you are drunk! You could pay for it……..
Thought I would add this article I found. I think I am ok, but still concerned…
Local and federal law enforcement officials said they’re aware dealers like Eric are turning to craigslist and other Web sites to sell pot, but the amounts sold are generally so small they’re not very concerned.
Craigslist prohibits illegal activity, but the Web site is mostly self-policed, according to a spokeswoman for the site.
Jeff Eig, spokesman for the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration’s Seattle office, said the amounts of illicit drugs sold via online transactions are generally so small that his agency hasn’t specifically gone after craigslist users dealing dope.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/lo…

Please Help Me Out!?

admin — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:37:14 +0000

okay so heres a long story, ill try to make it simple. me and this guy met on a cruise. it was a 9 day cruise, and we met the first night. he was with all of his cousins and we hung out as a big group the 1st,2nd,and 3rd night. the 4th night we started hanging out in a group, then me and this kid hung out alone and we talked the entire night. we talked about everything, and we only hooked up by the end of the night. but before we hooked up, he asked if me and him were hanging out the next night and i said of course. he slept over that night and layed with me. the 5th night he was in the casino so my friend went to get him cause he was winning. he came to hang out with me. i layed on him and we started hooking up and he asked me if i wanted to go to his room. i told him he could go back to the casino and he told me he wanted to be with me. we got to his room and we were talking then i layed on the bed and he followed and we were hooking up. he did everything to me, i didnt do anything to him. everything led to sex. he didnt talk much during it, but he was gentle and really sweet afterwards. after sex, he walked me back to my room and was going to come in but his cousin walked past, so the 3 of us went to the casino. him and his cousin were in a rush cause someone was winning but he kept looking back to make sure i was still there, which was really sweet. i got tired so i told him i was going back to my room to sleep. he said he would come to my room in a little while. sure enough, he came to my room to sleepover and lay with me. the next night he came looking for me but he thought i was with another guy, so the next two nights we didnt talk cause he was upset. finally, the 8th night he confronted me about it, and said he was looking for me, but thought i was with another guy. i told him i wasnt, and he even asked my best friend what the deal with me was. that night we hung out and talked for a long time, and he was saying how im his gf on the cruise, and if i lived where he did, wed be going out, and how hes marrying me. haha. we ended up having sex again but this time he was constantly asking me if i was alright and he told me to tell him when to stop and if it hurt. after that, he slept over and layed with me. the next and last night we just hung out the entire night and talked and he kissed me on the lips goodbye.
right after the cruise, he contacted me. we have been in contact now for 10 months, and weve seen eachother twice. one time i surprise visited him for 20 minutes, and the other time we planned, and we did not have sex or do anything except talk the entire night. after that visit, he texted me and said “thanks for coming ..cant wait to see you again” later that night i told him i was going to sleep and i told him to have fun and he said “all my fun left at 12″..which is when i left. we even had a conversation that night and i asked if he used me and he promised he didnt. later i said “im really glad we got to talk tonight about that stuff”..and he said “youre real cool i would never use you”
two nights later he texted me again and we were talking and i was asking him to come visit me and we can go to the city..he said “way rather see you then the city,” meaning..it doesnt matter what we do as long as i see you ..which was really sweet. he would also comment me at random times with funny videos. the last time we were supposed to hang out, i was in his state, and i was staying at a hotel. he was gonna come and pick up my friends, and we even talked that night about it but he never called. he made a mistake, and he knew it. he called later that night and said “i dont care how much it costs im getting a hotel room at your hotel..and you and youre friends can come over and chill…i wanna see you so badly” i told him it was too late, and he should have thought about that earlier. he knew he was wrong…
5 days later he calls me to apologize. he was really sincere, and it made me feel really important. it must have taken him 5 days to muster up the confidence, cause he called me right after work. he asked me when i was coming down again..and he said “you never write me anymore on myspace..let’s keep this long distance relationship going” and then he told me he hopes i have a great day at school the next day. it was really cute.
now his myspace song is hey there delilah. i happen to be going to college near where he lives in 2 months, and he knows that.
1. do you think he used me in the beginning..or is holding onto me for sex in college?
2. do you think he just likes me because of sex?
3. do you think he wants a relationship with me and really likes me a lot?
4. do you think were just friends or more?

Here Are Some Xmas Jokes!?

admin — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 04:49:25 +0000

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive” ?
Olive ?
Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”
Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
Why doesn’t Santa have any children ?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it’s down the chimney.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
They both have ornamental balls.
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?
They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies ?
Snowballs.
Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall, and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable.
“Jesus Christ!” he shouted.
Joseph said, “Write that down, Mary; it’s better than Clyde!”
During the recent Karpov-Kasparov world chess championships they came to an adjournment and left for their hotel. In the lobby of the hotel several chess enthusiasts could be heard bragging, “I could beat Karpov with no problem”.
“Oh yeah, I could beat both of them at the same time.”
“That’s nothing, I could beat both of them blindfolded!”
Finally, the hotel manager had had enough and threw them all out of the hotel.
But why?” a bystander asked.
“Because,” the manager replied “I hate …”chess nuts boasting by an open foyer!”
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today ?”
Johnny raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.” Mary was called on and answered, “He’s in my heart.” and Robert, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!!!”
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Robert how he knew this. and Robert said, “Well…..every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there?’!”
Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe.
She says “Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you’d like to come into my bedroom.”
Santa responds “Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know.”
The lovely young thing peels off her robe, revealing a skimpy negligee. Santa looks up from his sack of gifts, and she says “I’ve got something special for you Santa. Can’t you stay for just a little while? I know you want me. Let me make this Christmas eve unforgetable.”
Santa responds “Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know.”
Not to be denied, she strips off the negligee, revealing her naughty bits, and they were quite nice naughty bits, I might add. And she says “Santa, this is your last chance. This body is your gift.”
Santa responds “Hey! Hey! Hey! Gotta stay. Gotta Stay. Can’t get up the chimney with my dick this way!”
As the Christmas season draws nigh, foretelling the end of over a full month of Commercial Christmas, there is a special urgency in the spirits of children as they visit toy stores and toy departments all over the country.
It was with particular urgency that little Wilbert dragged his mother to the toy department in a big Los Angeles department store. Mother quickly steered Wilbert into the line of children waiting to talk to Santa, but Wilbert was far more interested in the hobby horse.
As soon as his mother relaxed her vigilance for a moment, Wilbert vanished from the Santa Queue and began rocking back and forth on the hobby horse. His mother noticed his absence, and after a quick, frantic search, spotted him on the horse. She let him rock for a few minutes, then told him it was time to get off. Wilbert ignored her. She began to beg; Wilbert paid no attention. She began to make promises of sugarplums, etc., if only Wilbert would get off the hobby horse. He stuck his nasty little tongue out at her.
Then Santa himself, who had been watching this little family drama out of the corner of his eye, stepped over and said to Wilbert’s mother, “Perhaps I can persuade your son to cooperate.”
“I doubt that,” said the mother, “but you’re welcome to try.”
Santa, with a big smile, whispered quietly into Wilbert’s ear.
Wilbert’s eyes grew very large, he quickly slid off the horse and took his mother’s hand. Together, with no fuss, they left the store.
As they drove home, Mama asked Wilbert what Santa had whispered to him. Wilbert was silent. Mama began offering bribes (toys and German Chocolate cake) if Wilbert would only tell Mama what Santa’s words were. Wilbert turned pale and wouldn’t utter a word.
What had Santa said? Wilbert’s mother was determined to find out. She had never been able to get the kid to obey that easily, and decided it was worth a great deal of effort on her part to discover what magick Santa Claus had used on Wilbert.
She continued to bribe him with a soft voice and much cajolery, and Wilbert’s stubborn streak finally faded. What did Santa say?
Wilbert now answered: “He said, ‘Listen, you little son of a *****, if you don’t climb your *** the hell down off that horse right this second, I’m going to beat the heck out of you!’ ”
Why the Little Angel is at the top of the Christmas Tree …
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual trip. As he pulled his favorite pair of red pants on, they ripped. So, he had to take them off and put on another pair, which was a bit too tight. He then went to check on the rest of the preparations. The elves were on strike. The reindeer had shin-splints. At this point, Santa was BUMMED. He went into the kitchen to take a calming drink, and the bottle was EMPTY. Now he was really mad. All of sudden, there was a knock at the door. Santa, in his angry state, ignored it. There was another knock. Santa was in no mood for all of this. When the knock came again, Santa–filled with rage–threw open the door. Standing there was a little angel who said, “Hi Santa! What do you want me to do with this Christmas Tree?”
One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer’s hoof.
As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said “You know, I think you’re the first reindeer I’ve ever seen in here.”
The reindeer looked hard at the hoofful of change and said “Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these ******’ prices, I’m the last reindeer you’ll see in here.”

Christmas Jokes.?

admin — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:56:22 +0000

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive” ?
Olive ?
Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”
Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
Why doesn’t Santa have any children ?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it’s down the chimney.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
They both have ornamental balls.
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?
They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies ?
Snowballs.
Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall, and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable.
“Jesus Christ!” he shouted.
Joseph said, “Write that down, Mary; it’s better than Clyde!”
During the recent Karpov-Kasparov world chess championships they came to an adjournment and left for their hotel. In the lobby of the hotel several chess enthusiasts could be heard bragging, “I could beat Karpov with no problem”.
“Oh yeah, I could beat both of them at the same time.”
“That’s nothing, I could beat both of them blindfolded!”
Finally, the hotel manager had had enough and threw them all out of the hotel.
But why?” a bystander asked.
“Because,” the manager replied “I hate …”chess nuts boasting by an open foyer!”
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today ?”
Johnny raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.” Mary was called on and answered, “He’s in my heart.” and Robert, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!!!”
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Robert how he knew this. and Robert said, “Well…..every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there?’!”
Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe.
She says “Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you’d like to come into my bedroom.”
Santa responds “Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know.”
The lovely young thing peels off her robe, revealing a skimpy negligee. Santa looks up from his sack of gifts, and she says “I’ve got something special for you Santa. Can’t you stay for just a little while? I know you want me. Let me make this Christmas eve unforgetable.”
Santa responds “Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know.”
Not to be denied, she strips off the negligee, revealing her naughty bits, and they were quite nice naughty bits, I might add. And she says “Santa, this is your last chance. This body is your gift.”
Santa responds “Hey! Hey! Hey! Gotta stay. Gotta Stay. Can’t get up the chimney with my d*ck this way!”
As the Christmas season draws nigh, foretelling the end of over a full month of Commercial Christmas, there is a special urgency in the spirits of children as they visit toy stores and toy departments all over the country.
It was with particular urgency that little Wilbert dragged his mother to the toy department in a big Los Angeles department store. Mother quickly steered Wilbert into the line of children waiting to talk to Santa, but Wilbert was far more interested in the hobby horse.
As soon as his mother relaxed her vigilance for a moment, Wilbert vanished from the Santa Queue and began rocking back and forth on the hobby horse. His mother noticed his absence, and after a quick, frantic search, spotted him on the horse. She let him rock for a few minutes, then told him it was time to get off. Wilbert ignored her. She began to beg; Wilbert paid no attention. She began to make promises of sugarplums, etc., if only Wilbert would get off the hobby horse. He stuck his nasty little tongue out at her.
Then Santa himself, who had been watching this little family drama out of the corner of his eye, stepped over and said to Wilbert’s mother, “Perhaps I can persuade your son to cooperate.”
“I doubt that,” said the mother, “but you’re welcome to try.”
Santa, with a big smile, whispered quietly into Wilbert’s ear.
Wilbert’s eyes grew very large, he quickly slid off the horse and took his mother’s hand. Together, with no fuss, they left the store.
As they drove home, Mama asked Wilbert what Santa had whispered to him. Wilbert was silent. Mama began offering bribes (toys and German Chocolate cake) if Wilbert would only tell Mama what Santa’s words were. Wilbert turned pale and wouldn’t utter a word.
What had Santa said? Wilbert’s mother was determined to find out. She had never been able to get the kid to obey that easily, and decided it was worth a great deal of effort on her part to discover what magick Santa Claus had used on Wilbert.
She continued to bribe him with a soft voice and much cajolery, and Wilbert’s stubborn streak finally faded. What did Santa say?
Wilbert now answered: “He said, ‘Listen, you little son of a b*tch, if you don’t climb your a*s the hell down off that horse right this second, I’m going to beat the heck out of you!’ ”
Why the Little Angel is at the top of the Christmas Tree …
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual trip. As he pulled his favorite pair of red pants on, they ripped. So, he had to take them off and put on another pair, which was a bit too tight. He then went to check on the rest of the preparations. The elves were on strike. The reindeer had shin-splints. At this point, Santa was BUMMED. He went into the kitchen to take a calming drink, and the bottle was EMPTY. Now he was really mad. All of sudden, there was a knock at the door. Santa, in his angry state, ignored it. There was another knock. Santa was in no mood for all of this. When the knock came again, Santa–filled with rage–threw open the door. Standing there was a little angel who said, “Hi Santa! What do you want me to do with this Christmas Tree?”
One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer’s hoof.
As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said “You know, I think you’re the first reindeer I’ve ever seen in here.”
The reindeer looked hard at the hoofful of change and said “Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these f*ckin’ prices, I’m the last reindeer you’ll see in here.”

Are These Threats And Should I Go To The Police?

admin — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:45:11 +0000

All i did was ask my ex to stop saying names bout my gf and this happens?
All this from asking someone to stop abusing my girlfriend?
all i did was ask my ex to stop saying nasty things bout my current girlfriend and all this started wtf?
18 minutes ago – 4 days left to answer.
Additional Details
i’m allowed to say what ever the **** i want to about that stupid little slut. bet she’s a dead root in bed. i never actually blew with you. you blew with me that’s why i broke up with you. and why the **** would i want to talk to you for? last nite, when you were making those faces, you realise everyone was laughing at you? it looked you were acting like a ******* three year old. of course it was a mistake to go out with you last night. the only person i had fun with last night was andrew. you know i was serious last night how i said i didn’t want to go back out with you. from what i’ve been told, why the hell would i want ot go out with a 24 year old who is a slob and just lost his virginity? that is soooooooooooo sad. min’s right about what she has being saying about you as well. jacinta said if she ever ****** see’s you or that dog around, ****** look out. cause like she said nobody hurts her ******* sister. you were so full of **** last night with how you said you know how to fight. ******* liar. by the way, if you ever, call, text, or even email me, i will call the ******* cops cause i’m getting a restraining order against you. i can’t be friends with someone who is an alcoholic like adrew said and ******* hits women. ******* woman basher i have so many friends that hate woman bashers. THIS IS HER SISTER HERE . SHE IS ALLOWED TO GO TO THE GV HOTEL IF SHE LIKES AND FOR ONE YOU ASKED HER IF SHE LIKED TO GO NOT HER!!!!!!!!!!!! SHES NOT HARESSING U OK. SO CALL THE POLICE AS I WILL BE DOING IT MYSELF IF U ARE THREATING HER OK!!! AND TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND IF SHE WANTS TO START SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH ME FIRST !!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WERE FINE YESTERDAY WITH MY SISTER DONNA AND I TOLD U IF ANYONE HURTS HER, WHY THE **** U GOING TO CALL THE POLICE ON HER AS SHE HASNT DONE ANYTHING WRONG . SHE WAS CATCHING UP WITH U AS A FRIEND AND SHE TOLD U THAT SHE ONLY WANTED TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!! ALSO U CANT TELL HER NOT TO GO TO THE GV ANYMORE AS ITS A PUBLIC PLACE AND MAYBE I MIGHT JUST GO ONE NIGHT WITH HER AND IF U ARE THERE WHO GIVES A **** AS WE ARE ALLOWED TO BE THERE TOO. BUT IF U TRY TO TALK TO MY SISTER AND **** HER AROUND AGAIN U WILL BE DEALING WITH ME. SO IF U WANT TO THREATEN SOMEONE GO A HEAD AS U DONT KNOW WHO THE **** U ARE PLAYING WITH AS U DONT KNOW WHO I KNOW!!!!!!!!! IM NOT THREATENING U BUT IF U ARE TRYING TO THREATEN MY SISTER THEN THERE WILL BE TROUBLE!!!!! U ARE THE ONE THAT ADDED HER ON FACEBOOK NOT HER SO DONT BLAME HER. IVE GOT ALL THE MESSAGES RIGHT HERE WITH US .i am no longer replying to anymore emails from you ‘well stop messaging her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… her email right now
2 hours ago – 4 days left to answer.

Please Help Me Out?

admin — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 04:41:55 +0000